EXCUSE ME I need to pay off a skirt in layaway

THE AWKWARD MOMENT when you realize your girlfriend is wearing the same skirt

NEVER TRUST what a woman keeps under her skirt

HER SKIRT IS SO TIGHT that it cuts off blood flow to my brain

COULD BE A SCOTISH HIGHLANDER doubtful but plausible

IT'S NOT A SKIRT It's a kilt, you ignorant bag of flesh

IN REALITY you'll be doing him.