Stephen King Totally Looks Like "Turtle"

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Stephen King Totally Looks Like "Turtle"
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Stephen King Totally Looks Like "Turtle" (Dana Carvey)

To be perfectly honest, "The Master of Disguise" was more terrifying to me than any of the movies based on Stephen King novels. And when I say "terrifying," I mean "terrifyingly awful."

John D. Rockefeller Totally Looks Like This Sea Turtle

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John D. Rockefeller Totally Looks Like This Sea Turtle
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John D. Rockefeller Totally Looks Like This Sea Turtle

If that turtle had bank like a Rockefeller, I would gladly give up my job writing about things that look like other things, move into the sea, and become a sea turtle trophy husband. Aw, but you guys would miss me too much, right? Right?!?!