Stephen Sondheim said the following in his Pulitzer Prize winning musical Sunday in the Park with George. “There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world of ours: children and art.” Of course, this is not an objective fact. You could argue that there are many worthwhile things you leave behind when you die that go beyond those two rigid categories.

I learn new things about parenting by looking at parenting fails. While some aspects of parenting are intuitive, there are about a million things that you need to learn about child-rearing before you actually have a baby. For instance, I was completely ignorant about bed-sharing and safe sleep until I started willingly exposing myself to all of this discourse within mommy Facebook groups . I can't imagine wanting to sleep in the same bed as your baby every night. I move so much in my sleep that…

Parenting is the most amazing thing and also the most insane thing you have ever done, but that's just show biz, baby!

Parenting is tough. What might seem like a mundane little parenting mistake to a parent could very well negatively affect a child's behavior for years to come. Not gonna lie, when I read u/tycjy 's post inquiring whether he was an a-hole for secretly eating cupcakes before his 10-year-old daughter could get to the frosting, I thought, “what's the big deal?” But what do I know? I've not yet been blessed with the miracle of children. Plenty of parents didn't hesitate to critique OP's parenting sk…

Hello mother, hello father. These funny memes, really holler!

It's finally March, and you know what that means? Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Your kids are lying around all d…

Nobody needs a laugh more than mom and dad.

Family secrets are hit or miss. You can either discover something super rad about the people you see during Christmas and Thanksgiving or realize that they really are horrible people deep down. When you're a kid, every piece of new information you learn about your extended family feels like a long-hidden family secret. Even if this is not true by definition, I believe that anything once unknown to you that you learn about your family counts as a family secret. My grandma worked for a TV station…

Boy moms have been rightfully roasted on social media recently. I'm not talking about just any woman who has solely mothered boys. I'm talking about the Oedipal nightmare of TikToker moms who openly admit they are in love with their sons. I have seen the same variation of "watching your son grow up is like experiencing the longest breakup ever" repeatedly on the stupid clock app. Why are these women telling on themselves like this? Why are so many boy moms in love with their sons? That guy Soph…

Everybody gets addicted to saying specific little phrases. 80% of my vocabulary comprises the words “werk” and “gorg.” It's so easy to fall back on cute little slang terms that they can come to define you. My friend Zack is addicted to saying the phrase “dudes rock.” He interjects it whenever he doesn't know how to respond to someone, especially when that someone is a dude. “Dudes rock” is a central tenant of this man's philosophy, and I cannot begrudge that. I don't say “dudes rock” often, but…

How many times can your kid say to you, "look at this!" Turns out the limit does not exist...

Parents love to document every milestone their kid reaches. A child's first steps, first word, and first day of school are all recorded carefully by their mom and dad so they can relive that memory for years to come. However, the most memorable moments of a kid's life usually happen when the cameras aren't around. When I was a kid, I wore my parents down so much one night by asking them endless questions about the biology of conjoined twins. Obviously, they didn't have extensive knowledge of th…

We were all undeniably stupid at one point or another, so who are we to judge?

Isn't it wild that so many popular ideas about parenting came from one dude? I'm talking, of course, about Dr. Spock. No, no Dr. Spock from Star Trek, but the Dr. Spock who wrote the most influential book about parenting of the 20th century. The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care revolutionized child care in the 1940s and 1950s and taught parents to see their children as individuals, all with their own individual needs. Before Spock, parenting books told parents to do everything on a rigi…

Nobody is in need of break to scroll through funny memes more than a mom or dad.

I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret; I am not a parent. Despite this, my friends always tell me that they think I'd be a good mom . What does that say about me? I have no idea. My first theory is that I would be a good mom because I have incredible vibes, and I will pass those good vibes down through my bloodline. Hopefully, my good vibes won't skip a generation! Perhaps I would be one of those strict, no-nonsense parents that can't stop bragging about how their 3-year-old has never…