It's really quite a shame; every time he sees a pretty girl, he runs and formaldehydes. - Matty Malaprop

I don't think Sir Mix-a-Lot had precisely this in mind when he wrote that song... - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure they'll be more than happy to phile a report about the neighborhood's latest creepy pedostrian. - Matty Malaprop

So do you want me to pay you with money, or pizza? The lack of specificity here is killing me. - Matty Malaprop

It's not that I don't care, it's just that I think you should learn to deal with Eeyore own bullsh*t in life. - Matty Malaprop

... I'm just gonna leave this here and go have a massive EMBARRASS over in the corner, thanks. - Matty Malaprop

I really, really, really DNHate this pun. - Matty Malaprop