A Classic

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By Unknown
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Only if They Manetain an Equal Distance Throughout

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bad joke is bad,equidistant,equine,literalism,prefix,similar sounding,twitter
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I think the answer to this question is actually quite simple. It would behoove you to not overthink it. - Matty Malaprop

Magic Wand: Casting Agent?

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twitter,Harry Potter,puns,funny
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JESUS DON'T CURR BOUT UR SOCIAL MEDIA

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follow,followers,Hall of Fame,jesus,lolwut,no1curr,religion,tumblr,twitter
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Can't we just not do it and make a Pinterest post saying we did instead? - Matty Malaprop

Such Dried Loneliness

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dating,fruit,puns,twitter
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I Drink, Therefore I Am

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cogito ergo sum,descartes,double meaning,Hall of Fame,i think not,literalism,philosophy,rené descartes,tweet,twitter
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Finally, Relationship Advice You Can Really Use!

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twitter,carry,tip,relationships,literalism,advice,hashtag,double meaning
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The secret to successful relationships is always holding yourself with the utmost confidence. - Matty Malaprop