Parents, Amirite?

Favorite
belt,discipline,ending,genius,Hall of Fame,lolwut,report card,twist
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At least it's not the dunce belt! That's your brother's burden to bear. And seriously, it is, because that thing weighs like 47 pounds. - Matty Malaprop

A Candid Discussion on Racism

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10k,5k,double meaning,everything went better th,everything went better than expected,hating,race,racism,twist,yahoo answers
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Listen, I'mma be honest here; if having a moral opposition to long-distance running is wrong, then I never ever want to be right. - Matty Malaprop

Thanks for the Clarification!

Favorite
double meaning,miniature,poodle,poodles,sizes,standard,three,toy,twist
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But just because you can typify them, it doesn't mean you can make non-standard poodles not suck at absolutely everything. Because they do. Yeah. Fin. - Matty Malaprop

If I Were Blondie, I'd Be Pissed!

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call,double meaning,fun,good,Hall of Fame,hang gliding,innuendo,non-sexual,time,twist,waterpark
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Probably a Truism

Favorite
behind,butt,checking,cliché,every,great,Hall of Fame,man,ogling,poster,slogan,Staring,twist,woman
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... and behind that man is soon to be ex-girlfriend. - Matty Malaprop

I Don't Think This Right is Limited to Soviet Russia...

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arms,bear,FAIL,Hall of Fame,lolwut,order,right,second amendment,Soviet Russia,switch,twist
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Ah, the ol' second amendment word order switcheroo. I didn't see that one com-OH WAIT YES I DID. - Matty Malaprop

The Titanic Hitting the Iceberg

Favorite
iceberg,lettuce,iceberg lettuce,titanic,literalism,double meaning,false expectations,twist
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This is truly the work of a bergeoning punsmith. - Matty Malaprop