Does What it Says on the Label

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Does What it Says on the Label
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TOTALLY TRUE FACT THAT'S TOTALLY NOT TRUE: Turtles have incredibly hairy undersides, and regular waxing is mandatory for all good turtle owners. - Matty Malaprop

Just Following Instructions

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Just Following Instructions
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Your son may not be able to think creatively, but at least you know he can understand basic instructions. - Matty Malaprop

And They Said it Was All Instinctual!

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And They Said it Was All Instinctual!
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Altering one's species is really quite a snap these days! ... though I think it might be easier still if Sheldon would ditch his Easyshare and invest in a REAL DSLR. - Matty Malaprop

Turtle Recall

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Turtle Recall
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... am I the only imagining Schwarzenegger kitten after seeing this? - Matty Malaprop

See the original version of this pun here! Thanks to violetD for the inspiration!