But What About Pernicioustrees?

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But What About Pernicioustrees?
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And for that matter, what about cantankeroustrees? Tenacioustrees? Do you just hate all things arboreal, or just pleasant ones in particular? - Matty Malaprop

That's Not How You Should Talk to Someone You're Pining For!

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That's Not How You Should Talk to Someone You're Pining For!
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I mean, fir real, man? That's the way you talk to the ladies in your life? Willow be damned... - Matty Malaprop

So THAT'S Why The Bathroom Always Smells So Nice!

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So THAT'S Why The Bathroom Always Smells So Nice!
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Alternate title: "So THAT'S Why I Seem to Be Allergic to Pooping!" - Matty Malaprop

Tree's a Crowd

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Tree's a Crowd
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If a pun falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it, does it still make people groan? - Matty Malaprop

Social Media at its best and worst on Failbook!

Ugh, Your Ideas Are Always So Coconuts!

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Ugh, Your Ideas Are Always So Coconuts!
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Say what you will about my ever-expanding collection of lava lamps! I still maintain that they're an evergreen decor item! - Matty Malaprop