tape

By Tailz2
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For when you take a shot and you really need it to stick. - Matty Malaprop

Very punny!
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... not to say that I'm going to go out of my way and find the video this screenshot comes from. Oh no. That would be far too easy. - Matty Malaprop

Bottle of Scotch
By Unknown
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I tend to drink specifically to be less tongue-tied... and I feel like this particular quaffable would do nothing to help me accomplish that particular goal. - Matty Malaprop

Duck tape
By -Ghost-
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... and any other household mallardies there might be in your apartment. - Matty Malaprop