WAIT. PUN-OFFS ARE REAL THINGS? ALRIGHT I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND I'M SORRY BUT THIS IS THE END BECAUSE I'M RUNNING AWAY TO BECOME A COMPETITIVE PUN-TALKER! - Matty Malaprop
He can turn water into rice-wine!
Maybe the weird-sounding commandments were just victims of Google Translate's imperfections? - Matty Malaprop
... I'm just gonna leave this here and go have a massive EMBARRASS over in the corner, thanks. - Matty Malaprop
And when I say "soft-newsy," I mean WHO WRITES FIRST-NAME ONLY BYLINES LIKE THAT? - Matty Malaprop
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. RUPERT. Why do we even invite you over for Christmas anymore?? - Matty Malaprop
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