This One Clearly Isn't Made by J.J. Abrams...

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This One Clearly Isn't Made by J.J. Abrams...
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I mean, it would need AT LEAST a dozen more lens flares to even pass as a worthwhile Abrams facsimile. - Matty Malaprop

Fixed It!

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Fixed It!
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Trufax: Sign "i"s cost $12.50 a piece. Sign periods cost a dollar just! - Matty Malaprop

Star Wars Episode VII (?????)

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Star Wars Episode VII (?????)
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It'd probably still be waaaaaaaaaaay better than Episode III, to be honest. - Matty Malaprop

This Inspirational Quote Makes Me Feel Eel

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This Inspirational Quote Makes Me Feel Eel
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I think that's also what you call a surefire way to die of suffocation. But whatever. - Matty Malaprop

Or Maybe Just Danson On My Own

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Or Maybe Just Danson On My Own
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"Danson With The Stars": The hit new television program where Ted Danson pretends to be Carl Sagan. I've got every episode queued up on my DVR! - Matty Malaprop