"I stand beside my previous comment"

Favorite
beside,comment,defense,literalism,previous,previous comment,stand,standing,statement
- -

This, Again...

Favorite
double meaning,field,literalism,out,outstanding,standing
- -

Good for Her!

Favorite
birth control,double meaning,literalism,on,pill,standing,statistic
- -

99.9 percent effective at stopping unexpected pregnancy. 100 percent effective at causing unexpected fall fails. - Matty Malaprop

It's a Miracle Diet I Can Get Behind!

Favorite
expression,few,idiomatic,literalism,lose,pounds,seat,sitting,stand,standing,victory,weight loss
- -

Unfortunately Yellow didn't read the fine print, which reminds that you'll immediately regain the weight with every seat you take. - Matty Malaprop

More Like Derping in Her Field, Amirite?

Favorite
standing,out,old joke is old,outstanding,cliché,literalism,double meaning,field
- -

ERMAGEHRD! KERMS! - Matty Malaprop

Head Over Heels

Favorite
standing,head over heels,Twist Ending,heels,head,lolwut,literalism
- -

I mean, it was cute I guess, but it wasn't like a corgi or a baby basset hound or anything... - Matty Malaprop

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Favorite
standing,sign,shoulder,disobedience,misinterpretation,literalism,no
- -

You're not my real dad, construction crew that put up this sign! - Matty Malaprop