99.9 percent effective at stopping unexpected pregnancy. 100 percent effective at causing unexpected fall fails. - Matty Malaprop
Unfortunately Yellow didn't read the fine print, which reminds that you'll immediately regain the weight with every seat you take. - Matty Malaprop
ERMAGEHRD! KERMS! - Matty Malaprop
I mean, it was cute I guess, but it wasn't like a corgi or a baby basset hound or anything... - Matty Malaprop
You're not my real dad, construction crew that put up this sign! - Matty Malaprop
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These Grandparents Are More Savvy Than You Think
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I'M NOT PREPARED FOR THESE KINDS OF DECISIONS!!!
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