It's a Miracle Diet I Can Get Behind!

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It's a Miracle Diet I Can Get Behind!
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Unfortunately Yellow didn't read the fine print, which reminds that you'll immediately regain the weight with every seat you take. - Matty Malaprop

She is Also Perpetuating One of the Most Tired Puns on the Internet

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She is Also Perpetuating One of the Most Tired Puns on the Internet
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Well, maybe she'll trip and land in horse manure and then we can all laugh about that instead? - Matty Malaprop

Coincidentally, He's Upstanding Too

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Coincidentally, He's Upstanding Too
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Because what good would a down-laying scarecrow even be, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Ace of Basic Bird Classification

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Ace of Basic Bird Classification
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It sounds like this poor bird really egrets ever leaving you. I guess it just goes to show that love is always fight or flight. - Matty Malaprop

Good for Her!

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Good for Her!
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99.9 percent effective at stopping unexpected pregnancy. 100 percent effective at causing unexpected fall fails. - Matty Malaprop