But seriously you guys those owls are out of this world! - Matty Malaprop

Anyone who answers to Fox News' Glenn Beck and call deserves to have their eyes pecked out by an owl. Just sayin'. - Matty Malaprop

Or something like that. I WORK ON THE INTERNET. How the hell should I know what a court aide does? #TooLazyToGoogle - Matty Malaprop

No, seriously, is it? Because I'll totally shill out four bucks for a weak bottle of Teachers, and that sh*t ain't even good! - Matty Malaprop