Good Samaritanism

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Good Samaritanism
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It's a gift, Sal! What are you gonna name him? Oliver? Augustus? Lemmy? - Matty Malaprop

Make Yourself a(t) Home!

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Make Yourself a(t) Home!
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Given my history with Ikea product assembly, I'm mostly positive I'll never net this gig... - Matty Malaprop

In the Hot Seat

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In the Hot Seat
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In Flint, Mich., every criminal eventually succumbs to interrogation and leaves the police station as nothing more than tinder to feed the fire of corruption. - Matty Malaprop

I Wonder if They'll Call Back...

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I Wonder if They'll Call Back...
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Sadly, this isn't the first time he sat his pants during an important interview... - Matty Malaprop

It's a Miracle Diet I Can Get Behind!

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It's a Miracle Diet I Can Get Behind!
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Unfortunately Yellow didn't read the fine print, which reminds that you'll immediately regain the weight with every seat you take. - Matty Malaprop