It's Stairibly Impolite!

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It's Stairibly Impolite!
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I hate to break it to you, Mr. Doodle-Guy, but you probably brought those bedroom eyes upon yourself. There are steps you can take to prevent such things, you know... - Matty Malaprop

Welcome to the Neigh-borhood

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Welcome to the Neigh-borhood
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Maybe he's just trying to pony up for his pa, but I really feel like this guy is becoming a foal-fledged nuisance. - Matty Malaprop

Okay, I Admit It, I Don't Understand.

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Okay, I Admit It, I Don't Understand.
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Someone please explain it to me? HOW IS THIS A PUN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? OH GOD HOW I REGRET SPENDING ALL OF MY TIME IN PRE-CALC LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES AND TURNING PERFECT CIRCLES INTO CRYING EMO FACES IN MY TEXT BOOK. - Matty Malaprop

I'd Really Rather Not...

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I'd Really Rather Not...
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Come on now; everyone knows the only funny vegetable is the potato. - Matty Malaprop

And How Does Timmy's Proclivity for Falling Down Wells Make You Feel?

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And How Does Timmy's Proclivity for Falling Down Wells Make You Feel?
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"And you know what's the worst part of it, Doc? The worst of it is I save that sniveling little brat every other day it seems, and I've yet to even see a single milkbone for my troubles!" - Matty Malaprop

Be Mine.

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Be Mine.
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You're the only buoy I've ever loved. - Matty Malaprop