Someday You'll Find it, That Rainbow Connection

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kermit,commit,request,T.Shirt,similar sounding,advice,dont
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I know life feels so hard right now, but I promise it'll get better! You'll persevere and then everyone will know will be green with envy over your accomplishments! - Matty Malaprop

Surfing the Net

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book,idiom,internet,literalism,lolwut,net,request,Rule 34,scholastic,surfing
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Please, someone, Rule 34 this. Don't post it on this site. Don't e-mail it to me. Just do it please, so that I'll know in the back of my mind that it's been done. - Matty Malaprop

I'd Really Rather Not...

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homophones,jokes,let us,lettuce,literalism,request,vegetable,yet
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Come on now; everyone knows the only funny vegetable is the potato. - Matty Malaprop

Your Wish is His Command

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clothes hanger,Command,hang,hang yourself,hanger,literalism,lolwut,misinterpretation,request,tumblr,wish
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Okay, I Admit It, I Don't Understand.

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begging,bright eyes,confused,emo,emoticons,explanation,geek,Hall of Fame,idgi,math,mathematics,pr0n,pre-calculus,regret,request
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Someone please explain it to me? HOW IS THIS A PUN? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? OH GOD HOW I REGRET SPENDING ALL OF MY TIME IN PRE-CALC LISTENING TO BRIGHT EYES AND TURNING PERFECT CIRCLES INTO CRYING EMO FACES IN MY TEXT BOOK. - Matty Malaprop

The Extra E and I Make All the Difference...

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armoire,armor,knight,literalism,misinterpretation,request,shining,similar sounding
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F*ing vowels, HOW DO THEY WORK? - Matty Malaprop

Please Do Not Feed the Animals!

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animals,do not,double meaning,feed,full,literalism,please,request,stuffed,stuffed animal,stuffed animals
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They are already stuffed.