Hooray... Friendship...

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Hooray... Friendship...
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My guess is that they were only trying to lend Christopher a helping hand, though something tells me he's perfectly capable of handling the situation himself. - Matty Malaprop

I've Never Been Less Happy to Do This!

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I've Never Been Less Happy to Do This!
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I'm sorry, door. This is the one and only time you'll ever make me cry. - Matty Malaprop

It Would Behoove You to Find Yourself in One

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It Would Behoove You to Find Yourself in One
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Then again, corralling another human being into one of these has always proved difficult for me, so who am I to talk? - Matty Malaprop

I Put the Lusitania and Titanic in LTR

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I Put the Lusitania and Titanic in LTR
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My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop

For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!