You Gotta Hand it to the Sphere for Always Bouncing Back, Though

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boxer,boxers,boxing,cube,edge,match,reason,sphere,winner
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If you ask me, this pun proves once and for all that boxing is most definitely a three-dimensional sport. - Matty Malaprop

SMP CLASSIC: Well At Least Your Bifocals Are the Right Prescription

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cell phone,contacts,double meaning,glasses,literalism,phone,reason
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He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

Your Throat Must Be Foal of Phlegm...

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cannot,double meaning,excuse,hoarse,homophone,horse,literalism,reason,talk
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Pygmyponyngitis is a silent but deadly disease -- one that ought be feared by all Dental Floss Tycoons the world over. - Matty Malaprop

You Don't Say?

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cleaning,double meaning,literalism,mess,question,reason,suck,suction,use,vacuum
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Today on self-evident science theater... - Matty Malaprop

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome