There's no worse way to have the almond joy taken out of your sex life. - Matty Malaprop

I really love that this joke both is and isn't. It's tautological but also a paradox! WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS I'M A NERD AND I'M READING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THIS DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY GOD YOU'RE ALL SUCH HUGE JERKS! - Matty Malaprop

I've always been quite partial to puns with this much linearity. - Matty Malaprop

Looks like all the joy is gone from someone's almonds... - Matty Malaprop

Me and my friends do this to my roommate everytime he starts humming Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities." You'd think he'd have learned by now... - Matty Malaprop

David Caruso, meet My Little Pony. My Little Pony, meet David Caruso. I think you're all going to get along splendidly. - Matty Malaprop