Sounds Like a Lovely Place, Really

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Sounds Like a Lovely Place, Really
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Such laughable forms of punishment aren't terribly compelling reasons for repeat punfenders to repunt, if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free

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He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free
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... because his voice is lovely, and he's got a talent for narration, and thus he can charge people lots of money to do voiceover work, and so it's not free, since it costs money... - Matty Malaprop