He Always Helps the POTUS When He's in a Bind

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He Always Helps the POTUS When He's in a Bind
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He's never afraid to clamp down and offer his superior some honest criticism. - Matty Malaprop

That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...

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That's Sadly Not Enough to Reserve a John Wilkes Booth...
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A penny? Seriously? Abe might have been an honest dude, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a stinkin' cheapskate. - Matty Malaprop

Just Look at Those Presidential Pumps!

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Just Look at Those Presidential Pumps!
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And as your resident male punmaster, I hereby absolve myself from knowing what pumps actually look like, so my above title maintains both its integrity and its alliteration. - Matty Malaprop