And it certainly doesn't help that he also had a tendency to consume spam a lot! - Matty Malaprop

... and then the tiger eats the pie and the protagonist jumps ship and swims for shore as fast as he pecan! #FakeSpoilers - Matty Malaprop

Oh right, 22 days out and it's already Halloween season. Can I please just ellipsis my way out of pumpkin spice everything month? - Matty Malaprop

He won't tell anyone what he puts in his confections though; you might even say his edibles are unrepeatable. - Matty Malaprop

Pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun, pun. - Matty Malaprop