phone

low,phone,charge,literalism,battery,double meaning
Via: Domics
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I tried doing this once with my phone, but in addition to being dead, it turns out my battery was also a deadbeat. - Matty Malaprop

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cell phone,contacts,double meaning,glasses,literalism,phone,reason
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He may be able to see now at least, but he'll still never overcome the social astigmatism attached to flip-phones in this day and age. - Matty Malaprop

build up,phone it in,text,phone,continuation,literalism,texting,double meaning,punchline
Via: Reddit
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Please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro... - Matty Malaprop

call,calling,double meaning,Hall of Fame,literalism,lost,phone
By Dave ( Via: scimoccomics.tumblr.com)
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It's really David's fault, I think. If he'd only taken my advice and named his phone something easily recognizable like Aloysius or Quonishua, then maybe said phone would be a little bit more responsive to calls from his owner! - Matty Malaprop

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