Ironically, it Isn't Cordless

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cell,cell phone,double meaning,literalism,phone
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If you've ever felt imprisoned by your dependence on your phone, well now you know you've been right about that all along. - Matty Malaprop

Literal Phone Tag

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WORST. GAME. EVER. - Matty Malaprop

Courtship Circa 2012

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build up,phone it in,text,phone,continuation,literalism,texting,double meaning,punchline
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Please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro please don't let this become a commonly used macro... - Matty Malaprop

He Could Really Use Some Obedience Schooling...

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call,calling,double meaning,Hall of Fame,literalism,lost,phone
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It's really David's fault, I think. If he'd only taken my advice and named his phone something easily recognizable like Aloysius or Quonishua, then maybe said phone would be a little bit more responsive to calls from his owner! - Matty Malaprop

His Calling Plan Is Very Restrictive...

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calling plan,cell phone,homophone,knights,nights,phone,weekends
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As if the plague's effect on one's reception wasn't bad enough... - Matty Malaprop

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome