Back in my day, we just used the damn handle! #CurmudgeonMattyIsCurmudgeonly - Matty Malaprop

The Tumblr I first saw this posted on made some stupid comment about dubstep in relation to the above statement. NEWS FLASH: MOSH PITS EXISTED BEFORE DUBSTEP IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY AWARE, TUMBLR KIDS. - Matty Malaprop

Closed mics are tragic things, really. All of their jokes are inside jokes, and they're always told in muffled tones. - Matty Malaprop

Either they printed the wrong label on my box, or I'm really out of shapes... - Matty Malaprop