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double meaning,literalism,microphone,microphones,open,open mic
Via: Plus 5 Mace
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Closed mics are tragic things, really. All of their jokes are inside jokes, and they're always told in muffled tones. - Matty Malaprop

double meaning,instructions,lift,literalism,misinterpretation,open
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Either they printed the wrong label on my box, or I'm really out of shapes... - Matty Malaprop

avocado,double meaning,fruit,Hall of Fame,literalism,mosh pit,open,pit,statement
Via: Nathan Dickerson
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The Tumblr I first saw this posted on made some stupid comment about dubstep in relation to the above statement. NEWS FLASH: MOSH PITS EXISTED BEFORE DUBSTEP IF YOU WEREN'T ALREADY AWARE, TUMBLR KIDS. - Matty Malaprop

cabinet,digital,double meaning,file,IRL,literalism,open
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Back in my day, we just used the damn handle! #CurmudgeonMattyIsCurmudgeonly - Matty Malaprop

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