I'm sure they serve some practical purpose somehow, but one-direction fans just aren't my Styles. - Matty Malaprop

I mean, are they quintuplets conjoined at the boner? I'M INCREDIBLY CONFUSED BY THIS STATEMENT AND ALSO I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE TO SLEEP THANKS TO THE MENTAL IMAGE I JUST CONJURED UP FOR MYSELF EWWWWWWWW. - Matty Malaprop

Is that an actual One Direction lyric? Really? REALLY?? - Matty Malaprop

I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.

Don't get me wrong; I strongly disagree with America's immigration policies in many ways. But I do agree with doing whatever is necessary to eradicate music from the face of the Earth, so eh. - Matty Malaprop

To hell. Because Satan's post-coital joy-screech still sounds roughly a million times better than they do. - Matty Malaprop