Tree's a Crowd

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Her boyfriend's name is Douglas Fir, but what she doesn't know is he's been pollenating with other lady-trees and is now a carrier of Phytophthora root rot. - Matty Malaprop

I Don't Think That Was the Rationale Behind Planetary Nomenclature, But Sure...

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I don't particularly want to make a fart joke here, so I'll just point out that every post title on this site today has been longer than the title of each post posted before it. ISN'T THAT JUST SO INTERESTING? - Matty Malaprop