*Rimshot*

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*Rimshot*
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You can also call it a scientific marvel, though I suppose that doesn't have much of a ring to it. - Matty Malaprop

NO.

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NO.
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You can't expect to be joined at the bit with someone without running into a few codependency issues... - Matty Malaprop

Anybody Got Any Matches?

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Anybody Got Any Matches?
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... maybe try a search for iLighther and see if that yields more useful results? - Matty Malaprop

Prosecute This!

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Prosecute This!
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I'm sorry, but I simply cannot give this pun my seal of approval because WHERE THE HELL IS BILLY MAYS?? - Matty Malaprop

Fairever Alone

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Fairever Alone
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Ferris wheel? More like unfairest wheel, amirite? - Matty Malaprop

Zippo's Not Down for a Double Header

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Zippo's Not Down for a Double Header
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Try as he might, Match was unable to ignite any kind of interest from Lighter on their first -- and last -- date. - Matty Malaprop