Try as he might, Match was unable to ignite any kind of interest from Lighter on their first -- and last -- date. - Matty Malaprop
All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop
It felt good to be... out-of-office auto-reply? - Matty Malaprop
Admit it: You totally thought of the "Pigeon Man" episode of Hey Arnold! after reading this, didn't you? - Matty Malaprop
I guess you're just going to have to learn to control your emotions and find some alt means of coping. - Matty Malaprop
You're not my real dad, construction crew that put up this sign! - Matty Malaprop
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