Hope You Like Tailoring!

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excited,homophone,name,sew,shop,sign,so,store
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They're not the kind to nickle and dime you, but they're definitely the kind to needle and thread you. - Matty Malaprop

We Ben Jammin' On This Constitution Track for a While Now

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Benjamin,Benjamin Franklin,franklin,jamming,literalism,name,suffix
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When he wasn't busy being the 18th Century Everyman, Franklin liked to spend his time fronting little-known but much-loved proto-rock band Poor Richard and the Almanacs. - Matty Malaprop

The Internet is a Series of Trekkies

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bits,data,double meaning,literalism,name,Star Trek,transmitting
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... and those Trekkies are filled with... Data? WAIT NO NOT LIKE THAT OH GOD THE HORRIBLE MENTAL IMAGES OH GOD - Matty Malaprop

Gandalf

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Alf,double meaning,gandalf,literalism,Lord of the Rings,name,suffix
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I Would Watch the Sh*t Out of This

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bjorn,bourne,franchise,Hall of Fame,literalism,lolwut,Movie,name,scandinavia,similar sounding,the bourne identity,trilogy
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Can he please eat Matt Damon at the end of the film? That's really the kind of plot twist I'm hoping for here. - Matty Malaprop

And to Think, She Was Putin Up Such Strong Performances Before

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facebook,gymnastics,longform,looking,name,nastia liukin,nasty,olympics,rimshot,similar sounding,surname
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Strangely, Liukin bears a strong resemblance to Nastasya Filipovna from Dostoevsky's The Idiot. This fact made this particular incident a field day for Russian reporters, who humiliated Liukin with such gruesome newspaper headlines as: "Idiot Nastia Lookin' Filipovna flippin' ova on uneven bars." - Matty Malaprop

Their Specialty Drink is the Boo Radley

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Hall of Fame,Harper Lee,mockingbird,name,novel,shop,similar sounding,tequila,To Kill A Mockingbird
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