What, were you expecting some sort of child dictator image? That's just absurd. - Matty Malaprop

And WHY is the rum gone? And for that matter, give me your keys, idiot. - Matty Malaprop

You can't prevent the ever-increasing data plan charges though, so don't even bother getting your hopes up. - Matty Malaprop

There's room enough inside her trunk for all the backpacks in the world. That sounds way worse written out than it did in my head. - Matty Malaprop

The part of her ad this comic doesn't show is the creepiest part of all: "I've got the love of a thousand hearts to give you, and I can offer you ass for days..." - Matty Malaprop