THE SCHEDULE SAYS 9:13 A.M. AND YET IT ALWAYS SHOWS UP AT 9:09 A.M. AND MY LIFE IS JUST A LIE :((((((((((((((( - Matty Malaprop

Now now Mr. Keyboard, we both know tantrums like this are no way to escape your problems. - Matty Malaprop

I guess you're just going to have to learn to control your emotions and find some alt means of coping. - Matty Malaprop

Trufax: Sign "i"s cost $12.50 a piece. Sign periods cost a dollar just! - Matty Malaprop

I sure hope this search doesn't evolve into a wild goose chase... - Matty Malaprop

One percent of people notice 99 percent of all grammar and spelling errors on the interwebs. #OccupyMerriam-Webster - Matty Malaprop

As if the end of the roll wasn't already hard enough to find! - Matty Malaprop