I tend to try and keep my political opinions to myself, but I will say it's a sherbet that I'm voting for Obama this election. - Matty Malaprop

I'm not sure about how all of you feel, but this joke is just gold in my mind. - Matty Malaprop

... or else you'll end the day all pepperminted with perforations! - Matty Malaprop

Spearmint and chewing tobacco apparently operate under the same basic mouth-cutting addictive principles... THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. - Matty Malaprop