literalism

So this one time I was drunkenly trying to Draw Something and my word was Shaq and all I could muster was a long stick figure and I couldn't even draw a circle correctly for his head so I blurred it out and then erased it and then screwed it up again and then dropped my phone so I just obscured the whole image with the word Kazaam. What I'm trying to say is: I'm really, really bad at Draw Something. - Matty Malaprop

Oh Brock... your squinty eyes only serve to conceal your inner genius. - Matty Malaprop

"But like, dude, have you ever thought about what life would be like if you weren't a potato? Like, what if you were actually a grape?" - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure he's cellarbrating his latest sale right this instant! - Matty Malaprop