It Might Be More Effective WITHOUT the Trucknuts...

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It Might Be More Effective WITHOUT the Trucknuts...
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Hey girl, do you want to save the environment? Because my reproductive rig runs on biodiesel! - Matty Malaprop

No Punchline

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No Punchline
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I really love that this joke both is and isn't. It's tautological but also a paradox! WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS I'M A NERD AND I'M READING WAY TOO MUCH INTO THIS DON'T JUDGE ME OKAY GOD YOU'RE ALL SUCH HUGE JERKS! - Matty Malaprop

But the Results Are Often Quite Non-Linear

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But the Results Are Often Quite Non-Linear
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And what if you're doing your homework with a sharpie? Then the line is decidedly not fine... CONUNDRUM!!!!1!11! - Matty Malaprop

A (C)Horus Line

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A (C)Horus Line
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No one ever said the puns I put on this site ever had to make any sense... but maybe they should have, because clearly I'm fond of things like this. - Matty Malaprop

Read Until the End. It's Worth It.

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Read Until the End. It's Worth It.
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I've always been quite partial to puns with this much linearity. - Matty Malaprop

I Have Money And I'm Going To Die Soon

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I Have Money And I'm Going To Die Soon
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Say what you will, but I still maintain the best ever pickup line is "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" - Matty Malaprop

The Best Line

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The Best Line
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Me and my friends do this to my roommate everytime he starts humming Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities." You'd think he'd have learned by now... - Matty Malaprop