Jay Z

Via: Keith is Good
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So much of a not-problem in fact that I didn't even mind paying 65 for a 64-dollar gift. - Matty Malaprop

Crawl So Hard
By Unknown
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One thing Jay-Z and this baby definitely have in common: They both have AMAZING cribs. - Matty Malaprop

Via: Pleated Jeans
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It's funny b/c Steve Martin jokes are roughly as funny as fart jokes LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! - Matty Malaprop

Got Christmas problems I feel bad for you son...
By HeyJohnnyK
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You do however have the problem of only being slightly larger than a Christmas ornament... you might wanna work on that, honey. - Matty Malaprop