Sure, it's the same old rouDean as all the other punny text message conversations you see online, but you can't Deany that these are quality. - Matty Malaprop

I ain't even ashamed to admit that. And by that I mean I'm totally and completely ashamed to admit that.

But seriously. Seriously. Click this link. Listen to this song. It will be stuck in your head 5ever. I'm sorry. - Matty Malaprop

If you think One Direction is a terrible band, you're totally Autocowreck.

Perhaps paradoxically, it happens to be located in Sweden. #OmNomNomSwedishFish - Matty Malaprop

You can't prevent the ever-increasing data plan charges though, so don't even bother getting your hopes up. - Matty Malaprop

Try the veal, etc. - Matty Malaprop

I'm one of those who do, Siri-usly. - Matty Malaprop

Seriously, dam them all to shell! - Matty Malaprop