Doesn't Seem Like it Could Hold Much Treasure...

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davey jones,davey-jones-locker,double meaning,idiom,literalism,locker
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It's really more a cubby if you ask me... maybe it's just meant to store his pirate track jacket? - Matty Malaprop

You're Such a Wilting Flower!

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afraid,double meaning,fear,gardening,grow,grow a pair,Hall of Fame,homophone,idiom,literalism,pear
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GET IT BECAUSE YOU CAN ALSO GROW FLOWERS IN A GARDEN IN ADDITION TO FRUIT BUT IF YOU'RE AFRAID YOU WON'T WATER THEM AND THEN THEY WILL WILT AND THUS BECOME WILTING FLOWERS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL #I'mTheWorst - Matty Malaprop

I Bet That Bill is Going to Be Astronomical

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curiosity,data,double meaning,fees,idiom,literalism,Mars,nasa,out of this world,space
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I know this kind of question has very little to do with my own life, but I can't help but ask such things out of utter Curiosity, you know? - Matty Malaprop

KNUCKLE SANDWICH!

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double meaning,idiom,knuckle,knuckle sandwich,literalism,sandwich
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It's the only kind of sandwich my ex would ever make me. And people wonder why I'm single... - Matty Malaprop

Some People Just Can't Leaf Well Enough Alone

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idiom,similar sounding,bark,blight,bite,tree,leaves
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You can use a joke like this time and again, but its humor value will always be evergreen. - Matty Malaprop

Not if the Midi-Chlorians Have Any Say in the Matter

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bygones,Hall of Fame,idiom,qui gon jin,rhyme,rhyming,similar sounding,star wars
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Your actions are reprehensible, sure. But in my current apathetic state, I can't be forced to care one iYoda about your bad behavior. - Matty Malaprop

Surfing the Net

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book,idiom,internet,literalism,lolwut,net,request,Rule 34,scholastic,surfing
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Please, someone, Rule 34 this. Don't post it on this site. Don't e-mail it to me. Just do it please, so that I'll know in the back of my mind that it's been done. - Matty Malaprop