But this Corona stuff ain't gonna fly! How about you have the barkeep whip me up a top-shelf Manhattan? - Matty Malaprop

You can use a joke like this time and again, but its humor value will always be evergreen. - Matty Malaprop

He's been feeling pretty wound-up and stretched thin lately, so if you're not careful he might lash out at you. - Matty Malaprop

And then she shouted "BAYER WITH ME!" ... and everyone turned into aspirin. - Matty Malaprop

Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

I'm not saying it's not an inaccurate recapitulation of the year... I just think it rings a bit hollow, you know? - Matty Malaprop

You have a job, but it doesn't feel like a career... you live in a house, but it seldom feels like a Homer... man, BEING ALIVE IS REALLY ROUGH. - Matty Malaprop