It Really is His Life's Calling

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It Really is His Life's Calling
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He was able to successfully disarm the problem in both scenarios. Unfortunately for his mother, she found it hard to hold her baby with no arms. :( - Matty Malaprop

GPOY What it Feels Like Being a 20-Something

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GPOY What it Feels Like Being a 20-Something View Fullscreen
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You have a job, but it doesn't feel like a career... you live in a house, but it seldom feels like a Homer... man, BEING ALIVE IS REALLY ROUGH. - Matty Malaprop

Far More Fervent Than a Pinky Promise

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Far More Fervent Than a Pinky Promise
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To each his own and yadda yadda, but I've always preferred pinky jinxing myself. - Matty Malaprop

H2Overwhelming Arrogance

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H2Overwhelming Arrogance
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If his ego is gigallontic already, I'd hate to see him full to the brim... - Matty Malaprop

No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!

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No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!
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Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

The Unfortunate Side Effect of Having Tater Tots

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The Unfortunate Side Effect of Having Tater Tots
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Raising a child always causes an unfortunate kind of famine for your energy levels. - Matty Malaprop

Not So Secret Anymore

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Not So Secret Anymore
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Well, I suppose their primary product line is intended for a certain kind of feline... - Matty Malaprop