He Picked Himself Up by His Clawstraps

Favorite
bare,bear,building,built,double meaning,hands,homophone,literalism
- -

Gotta say, that's a mighty fine lacquer job you did there, bear! - Matty Malaprop

Hand Soap

Favorite
Hall of Fame,hand,hand soap,hands,literalism,punception,shape,soap
- -

... but not a variety I'd like to wash up with any time soon, thankyouverymuch. #SOCREEPY #THEYLOOKLIKEDOLLHANDS - Matty Malaprop

The Story of a Bluetooth Whale

Favorite
free,free willy,hands,handsfree,literalism,lolwut,Movie,switch
- -

Truly an inspiring story, it was met with critical reception that was almost universally positive. - Matty Malaprop

He Finally Did it!

Favorite
cliché,hands,literalism,look,misinterpretation,mom,no,no hands
- -

How's that old saying go again? "Amputation is its own reward?" - Mat- Malapr-

And I Do Mean ALWAYS

Favorite
always,before,dinner,hands,hens,literalism,rule,similar sounding,wash
- -

Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop