He Picked Himself Up by His Clawstraps

Favorite
bare,bear,building,built,double meaning,hands,homophone,literalism
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Gotta say, that's a mighty fine lacquer job you did there, bear! - Matty Malaprop

And I Do Mean ALWAYS

Favorite
always,before,dinner,hands,hens,literalism,rule,similar sounding,wash
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Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

My Favorite Neil Diamond Song

Favorite
Hall of Fame,ham,hams,hand,hands,literalism,lyrics,mii,misinterpretation,similar sounding,song,wii
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Wait... are you trying to tell me that song isn't about delicious pork-based noms? That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop

This Week's Prize Fight: Tyson Ursus Bearhands

Favorite
bare,bear,double meaning,Hall of Fame,hands,homophone,literalism
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Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop

The Story of a Bluetooth Whale

Favorite
free,free willy,hands,handsfree,literalism,lolwut,Movie,switch
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Truly an inspiring story, it was met with critical reception that was almost universally positive. - Matty Malaprop

He Finally Did it!

Favorite
cliché,hands,literalism,look,misinterpretation,mom,no,no hands
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How's that old saying go again? "Amputation is its own reward?" - Mat- Malapr-