Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop
Wait... are you trying to tell me that song isn't about delicious pork-based noms? That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop
... but not a variety I'd like to wash up with any time soon, thankyouverymuch. #SOCREEPY #THEYLOOKLIKEDOLLHANDS - Matty Malaprop
Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop
Truly an inspiring story, it was met with critical reception that was almost universally positive. - Matty Malaprop
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