Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

Gotta say, that's a mighty fine lacquer job you did there, bear! - Matty Malaprop

Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

Wait... are you trying to tell me that song isn't about delicious pork-based noms? That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop

Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop

Truly an inspiring story, it was met with critical reception that was almost universally positive. - Matty Malaprop

How's that old saying go again? "Amputation is its own reward?" - Mat- Malapr-