He Finally Did it!

Favorite
cliché,hands,literalism,look,misinterpretation,mom,no,no hands
- -

How's that old saying go again? "Amputation is its own reward?" - Mat- Malapr-

He Picked Himself Up by His Clawstraps

Favorite
bare,bear,building,built,double meaning,hands,homophone,literalism
- -

Gotta say, that's a mighty fine lacquer job you did there, bear! - Matty Malaprop

And I Do Mean ALWAYS

Favorite
always,before,dinner,hands,hens,literalism,rule,similar sounding,wash
- -

Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

My Favorite Neil Diamond Song

Favorite
Hall of Fame,ham,hams,hand,hands,literalism,lyrics,mii,misinterpretation,similar sounding,song,wii
- -

Wait... are you trying to tell me that song isn't about delicious pork-based noms? That's just crazy talk! - Matty Malaprop

This Week's Prize Fight: Tyson Ursus Bearhands

Favorite
bare,bear,double meaning,Hall of Fame,hands,homophone,literalism
- -

Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop

No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!

Favorite
my hands are tied,tied,idiom,hands,literalism
- -

Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

Download the new Cheezburger app for a chance to win a PS4! in Cheezburger 's Hangs on LockerDome