And I Do Mean ALWAYS

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And I Do Mean ALWAYS
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Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

This Week's Prize Fight: Tyson Ursus Bearhands

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This Week's Prize Fight: Tyson Ursus Bearhands
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Mike Tyson ain't the only fighter who's liable to bite off your ears... - Matty Malaprop

He Picked Himself Up by His Clawstraps

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He Picked Himself Up by His Clawstraps
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Gotta say, that's a mighty fine lacquer job you did there, bear! - Matty Malaprop

No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!

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No, Really, They Are! Please Send Help!
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Plus I'm bound by my contract as an employee to remain at my desk unless specifically told otherwise, so I'm afraid I'm of no use to you at this moment. - Matty Malaprop

Hand Soap

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Hand Soap
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... but not a variety I'd like to wash up with any time soon, thankyouverymuch. #SOCREEPY #THEYLOOKLIKEDOLLHANDS - Matty Malaprop

He Finally Did it!

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He Finally Did it!
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How's that old saying go again? "Amputation is its own reward?" - Mat- Malapr-