He's a Very Obedient Boy

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He's a Very Obedient Boy
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Granted, he might be obedient because his brain was replaced with a potato, but he's obedient regardless. - Matty Malaprop

Maybe Your Content Just Needs a Better Host

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Maybe Your Content Just Needs a Better Host
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Finding stardom on the Internet is difficult. I just hope this newcomer doesn't let his first failures inflame him. - Matty Malaprop

Learning French, the Easy Way

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Learning French, the Easy Way
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And by "the easy way" I of course mean the wrong way, because everyone knows tenses in French are the purest form of confounding hell and not like they are in English at all. - Matty Malaprop

But Make Sure To Handle With Care

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But Make Sure To Handle With Care
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Seriously, you don't know the meaning of "the brink of death" until your nose is getting nipped at by an aggravated goose. - Matty Malaprop

It Vanished in the Starry Night

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It Vanished in the Starry Night
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I guess I'm just unlucky. Every time I buy something nice for myself, it always seems to missedeariously disappear... - Matty Malaprop