No, seriously, they really oughta bathe that poor donkey! It can't be comfortable with all that mud on its hooves. - Matty Malaprop

You have a job, but it doesn't feel like a career... you live in a house, but it seldom feels like a Homer... man, BEING ALIVE IS REALLY ROUGH. - Matty Malaprop

This post is sponsored by M. Night Shyamalan. #notreallybutyouknowwhatimean - Matty Malaprop

I'm not saying this is the only way to handle your situation; I'm just suggesting you gif it some thought. - Matty Malaprop

Valentine's Day was yesterday, sure, but the campiness of this joke is timeless if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop

I've been watching this for like five minutes now, and it's really starting to gif me a headache. - Matty Malaprop