As Opposed to a Suffocation of Savant

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As Opposed to a Suffocation of Savant
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Too soon? Maybe. But on the bright side, most professors don't gain widespread recognition until YEARS after their untimely demises. Smith got his academic 15 minutes within 15 seconds of his passing! - Matty Malaprop

Parents, Amirite?

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Parents, Amirite?
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At least it's not the dunce belt! That's your brother's burden to bear. And seriously, it is, because that thing weighs like 47 pounds. - Matty Malaprop

Don't Leave Him Hangin'!

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Don't Leave Him Hangin'!
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... that cunning bastard! We can't leave him hanging, but he's still breathing! Hans, put "high five" on the last words banned list immediately! - Matty Malaprop