And Then the Bailiff Clubbed Him

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And Then the Bailiff Clubbed Him
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FUN FACT: Your typical judge doesn't take too kindly to puns under oath. I may or may not know this from personal experience. - Matty Malaprop

Free Stool Samples

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Free Stool Samples
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Sometimes the products featured at Costco food kiosks are weird, but this one in particular really takes the cake. - Matty Malaprop

Such Was His Delivery From Evil

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Such Was His Delivery From Evil
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I think I would have enjoyed this story a bit more if I hadn't been completely sauced when I read it. - Matty Malaprop

He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free

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He Must Be in Prison Often Since His Voice Ain't Ever Free
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... because his voice is lovely, and he's got a talent for narration, and thus he can charge people lots of money to do voiceover work, and so it's not free, since it costs money... - Matty Malaprop