She's Super into Lip-Lock, Too!

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She's Super into Lip-Lock, Too!
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Orange soda-flavored lipgloss does sound quite delicious, to be fair... - Matty Malaprop

Forever a Dating Fail.

Draw Yourself a Bath

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Draw Yourself a Bath
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If you're going to be forever alone, at least your bath bubbles can keep you company this way! - Matty Malaprop

Also Works With "But That Scholarship Bundle Seemed So Accommodating..."

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Also Works With "But That Scholarship Bundle Seemed So Accommodating..."
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Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop

I Put the Lusitania and Titanic in LTR

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I Put the Lusitania and Titanic in LTR
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My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop

For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!