Orange soda-flavored lipgloss does sound quite delicious, to be fair... - Matty Malaprop
Forever a Dating Fail.
If you're going to be forever alone, at least your bath bubbles can keep you company this way! - Matty Malaprop
Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop
My love life is like the gondola scene from Lady and the Tramp, but with more icebergs and horrible death. - Matty Malaprop
For more sinking relationships, head over to Dating Fails!
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