But He Was Born This Way! Lady Gaga Wrote a Song About Him!

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But He Was Born This Way! Lady Gaga Wrote a Song About Him!
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All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop

Guns Don't Kill People... Flammable Material Does

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Guns Don't Kill People... Flammable Material Does
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And one more falls prey to the dreaded phenomenon of spontaneous cottonbustion. - Matty Malaprop

Stop Being Braggish; You Had Flint and Tinder!

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Stop Being Braggish; You Had Flint and Tinder!
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Regarding your recent string of successful camping trips, I'd wager you're on a bit of a hot streak. - Matty Malaprop

Crossfire

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Crossfire
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The military might take things too literally.