The military might take things too literally.
I've always preferred carrying a switch blade, but you can only dislocate your shoulder so many times before you start to feel it in the morning. - Matty Malaprop
All his life he's been engulfed by the pains of discrimination. In college he tried to start a petition to implement firearm protection into his campus constitution, but alas his campaign failed to ignite any interest. - Matty Malaprop
Regarding your recent string of successful camping trips, I'd wager you're on a bit of a hot streak. - Matty Malaprop
Valentine's Day was yesterday, sure, but the campiness of this joke is timeless if you ask me. - Matty Malaprop
There's a reason they call them burritos, you know. - Matty Malaprop
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