Following Instructions to the Letter

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Following Instructions to the Letter
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CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

Let's Hope She Doesn't Respond Negatively to That Line

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Let's Hope She Doesn't Respond Negatively to That Line
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Sadly, after one steamy night these two never spoke again. Ms. Film thought Mr. Film was a nice guy, but ultimately decided he was totally disposable. - Matty Malaprop