"You merely adopted obesity! I was born in it, molded by it. I did not see a treadmill until I was already a man!" - Matty Malaprop

Owlie's been known to rock beets so hard he turns them into straight-up jams. Good on ya, Owlie. - Matty Malaprop

Damn shame. I'm far more fond of half-and-half in my morning cup of joe. - Matty Malaprop

A brand new treat from the people who brought you Obesi-tea! - Matty Malaprop

You really ought to put him on a stricter diet. You wouldn't want him developing heart pulpitations, after all!