I wonder what we'd have to do to warm that icy bunny heart... - Matty Malaprop

... though I suppose that explanation kinda kills the joke, doesn't it? - Matty Malaprop

Some expressions are creepiest when taken literally... - Matty Malaprop

On the plus side, high fidelity headphones are always faithful to their spouses, AND they'll take a bullet for any and all of their friends and acquaintances. - Matty Malaprop

Sallie Mae is not your girlfriend, no matter how much you'd like to believe otherwise. - Matty Malaprop

Without any corrective gear, my vision's fuzzier than an AT&T signal in the wilds of Montana. #rimshot - Matty Malaprop