Interestihrium or GTFO!

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bohrium,boring,chemistry cat,dull,element,similar sounding
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It may not be the most thrilling topic, but a Strontium understanding of it is definitely necessary for your major. - Matty Malaprop

Do You Want to Groan Today? Just Read This.

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au,element,gold,abbreviation,periodic table
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Looks like somebody walked into that pun so hard they got straight-up Fort Knoxed out. - Matty Malaprop

She's a Fe-Male!

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iron,iron maiden,iron man,costume,halloween,female,fe,abbreviation,periodic table,element
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I'm not sure who would be more proud, Tony Stark of Steve Harris. - Matty Malaprop

Laughing Gas

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atomic number,double meaning,element,gas,he,helium,laughing,laughing gas,literalism,repetition,symbolism
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Well, it makes you laugh until you get really light headed and pass out on the floor, and then you start saying Uuh Uuh Uuh. - Matty Malaprop

Goldfish

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au,element,gold,periodic table,atomic number,fish
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They are certainly not the most intelligent fish in the sea... but you can't really hold that against them. That's all based on their chemical composition! - Matty Malaprop