egg

Via: Chaos Life
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Face it, baby. You were born to pun. - Matty Malaprop

Untitled
By anchy2006 (Via: Domics)
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Don't get too cock-y though, dude. Women always send scrambled signals to guys after their first time. - Matty Malaprop

By Unknown
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Coincidentally, the joke still works with the original "dos equis" punchline. - Matty Malaprop

Via Plus 5 Mace

Via: Reddit
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Ordering one of these for lunch is guaranteed to put you on the sunny side of the afternoon! - Matty Malaprop

Hard-boiled
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Thanks to his military training, he knows never to shoot at a culprit until he sees the egg whites of their eyes. - Matty Malaprop