CSI ASCII is My New Favorite ASCII

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CSI ASCII is My New Favorite ASCII
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I mean, it's maybe the only thing that even approaches the amazingness of the table flip.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ - doɹdɐlɐɯ ʎʇʇɐɯ

To Fix Your Quacked Book Case...

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To Fix Your Quacked Book Case...
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... and any other household mallardies there might be in your apartment. - Matty Malaprop

Dressed With Greens

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Dressed With Greens
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Q: What do you call an entrée of imitation duck meat? A: A Pâté de Fraud Gras. - Matty Malaprop

This Whole Situation is a Total...

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This Whole Situation is a Total...
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Oh mallard! Things are getting really real up in this house right now. - Matty Malaprop

The Mixup I'll Never Get Out of My Mind

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The Mixup I'll Never Get Out of My Mind
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CURSE YOU HOMOPHONES! WHY MUST YOU WREAK HAVOC ON MY FOOD-WORD ASSOCIATIONS? - Matty Malaprop