I Think They're Still Upset About the Burnt Rubber...

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I Think They're Still Upset About the Burnt Rubber...
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I'm sure they'd settle for an Axel too, if you can't find any other alternatives. - Matty Malaprop

That Compact Pressure Cooker Sure Uses a Lot of Force...

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That Compact Pressure Cooker Sure Uses a Lot of Force...
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Sorry in advance if the texture's a little odd. Try as I might to improve my culinary finesse, I've always been a bit of a wookie in the kitchen. - Matty Malaprop

Via Eff Yeah Puns

Following Instructions to the Letter

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Following Instructions to the Letter
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CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

And I Do Mean ALWAYS

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And I Do Mean ALWAYS
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Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop