Otherwise you run the risk of contaminating your meal with that disgusting eggzema you just can't seem to get rid of. - Matty Malaprop

I'm sure they'd settle for an Axel too, if you can't find any other alternatives. - Matty Malaprop

CURSE YOU PORK & CARAMELISED CHESTNUT STUFFING I DID EXACTLY AS YOU COMMANDED SO WHY WILL YOU STILL NOT COOK FOR ME?? - Matty Malaprop

Sorry in advance if the texture's a little odd. Try as I might to improve my culinary finesse, I've always been a bit of a wookie in the kitchen. - Matty Malaprop

Via Eff Yeah Puns